Schwanksta :: Fuzzy Journalism

There’s long been a rule, known in some circles as Cheez’s First Law of the Internet (no doubt other communities have codified it in different forms), which states that while talking about someone else’s grammar or spelling, you have a nearly 90% chance of making an error.

Apparently, even the venerable New York Times isn’t immune to the natural rules we’re all governed by. In a bizarre article engaging in a little literary celebration of the semicolon and its use by a public service announcement on the subway, the article mentions Lynn Truss’s “Eats, Shoots & Leaves,” a humorous book on grammar. At the bottom of the article, however, a correction appears:

Correction: February 19, 2008
An article in some editions on Monday about a New York City Transit employee’s deft use of the semicolon in a public service placard was less deft in its punctuation of the title of a book by Lynne Truss, who called the placard a “lovely example” of proper punctuation. The title of the book is “Eats, Shoots & Leaves” — not “Eats Shoots & Leaves.” (The subtitle of Ms. Truss’s book is “The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation.”)

I can see where the writer probably made the mistake: the book’s title is based on a joke, in which a Panda shoots up a restaurant because a poorly-punctuated wildlife manual says that the mammal “eats, shoots and leaves.” The proper construction would be without the comma, as was apparently printed, but clearly the book title leaves the comma in for a reason.

I just find it amusing that the NYT would mis-punctuate the title of a grammar book in what would appear to be a slightly snobbish article on punctuation — if only for the fact that, in some circles, the use of a semicolon is probably considered snobbish in and of itself, celebrations thereof doubly-so.

And yes — this article’s title is on purpose.

I know that it might seem I’m merely offended as a journalist on this one, but I’d say it’s offensive in the most universal sense. It seems sophomore State Sen. Jeremy Ring has decided that literacy, liberal arts and even business are no longer quite as important in Florida, and has proposed a tiered system for distributing the state’s lottery-funded scholarships.

In this brave new world of scholarship dividends, any student eligible for 100 percent tuition under the current law, yet not majoring in science, technology, engineering, mathematics, education or a health profession, is worth approximately 30 percent less to the state than his or her brethren.

Yeesh, now there’s a number to make you feel good about yourself. I guess you really can put a price on an education like mine, and that price is 80 percent of my tuition, plus $237.50 per semester for books and other materials. Those in the ostensibly “more important” fields, however, would get 110 percent of their tuition covered, and $330 per semester.

Here’s the kicker, though: those eligible for 75 percent tuition coverage currently (”Florida Medallion Scholars”) would now get an 85 percent scholarship if they go into these technical fields. Meanwhile, those poor bastards following their hearts and minds in other directions will get shafted, only receiving 55 percent coverage. For those of you playing along at home, that’s less than half of what a top-tier engineering student would get.

What blows me away is that despite the effort that goes into achieving a full Bright Futures ride, Ring is willing to give those with lower test scores and GPAs a larger slice of the scholarship pie — based solely on what you want to study. It’s just antithetical to the very idea of its scholarship; the state should be fostering education in all forms, not just those they choose. From its own website:

This Florida Lottery-funded scholarship rewards students for their academic achievements during high school by providing funding for them to pursue postsecondary educational and career goals in Florida.

I don’t see anything about abusing the system to promote specific careers anywhere in there, but maybe I missed it.

So this is what Sen. Ring really wants to say to Florida students not interested in his pre-approved paths: “I don’t care how intelligent you are, study this or cough up.” Awesome. If the state wants to pay some of its brightest students less, out-of-state scholarships might suddenly seem a whole lot more tempting. The last thing Florida needs is a brain drain and a geek influx.

Don’t think I’ve forgotten about business majors, either. Apparently, they don’t make the cut for top-tier degree seekers. Now tell me: how many people who want to get into business will settle for a sharp cut in scholarship funding? Probably not the brightest of the bunch.

Thankfully, the bill has no current House sponsors yet, and I hope it stays that way. What a whackjob.

Read the St. Pete Times’ The Buzz article here. Read the Alligator’s coverage here